Homeschooling

This Veterans Day marks 3 years since my active-duty Air Force husband hung up his uniform and quit shaving. Although doing military life for over 22 years wasn't always easy, I'm grateful for the opportunities our family had to meet new people, join different church fellowships, and visit other parts of the world we may not otherwise have seen. And I'm extremely proud of my husband and all his accomplishments. Not many people know this, but he chose to retire as a Lt. Col even though he had earned the rank of colonel. The reason? Retiring as a full colonel meant he would need to uproot our family of 11 and relocate two time zones away. While we were certainly no strangers to military transitions, in 2019 we had 3 teenagers plus a daughter with significant physical and developmental issues. Prayerfully seeking the Lord's will, Ted announced he would do what was best for our family: it was time to retire.

I believe God has abundantly blessed that decision! Our children, now ranging in age from 5 - 22, have thrived in a place they have been able to call "home" for more than 5 years, which is much longer than we ever lived in one location during our military tenure. It reminds me that "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens" (Ecc. 3:1). 

Not to take anything away from my husband's Air Force career, but as I ponder what it means to be a veteran, I realize that I, too, can claim this role! Of course, I've never been a member of the armed forces. But I'm certainly a veteran homeschool mom after educating my own children since 2005! And there are similarities in my husband's and my callings that I think are worth considering. In hopes that this will encourage YOU, dear one, I offer a few observations here.

While my husband made a career of military service, his choice to do so stemmed from the feeling that God was calling him TO that service. Likewise, I believe homeschooling is indeed a calling. It will, of course, look different in every family. But Deuteronomy 6:4-9 is clear that parents are ultimately responsible to teach the next generation about God, His character, and His commands. I believe strongly that homeschooling is the BEST way to carry out this mission, but whether or not you choose to home educate your children, if you are a follower of Christ, you must take this calling seriously.

It would have been absurd for my husband to play video games and eat junk food in the weeks and months leading up to entering the U.S. Air Force Academy as a cadet (waaay back in the summer of 1993!). And he certainly could not have sustained a 22+ year career if he had not taken seriously the need for ongoing training as he rose in ranks and assumed more responsibilities. The task of homeschooling is multi-faceted and warrants serious thought and preparation. This doesn't mean you can't pivot in the middle of a school year and pursue a different course (especially if something just is not working). However, the training I'm thinking of most here is for US as homeschool moms! Curriculum, schedules, and extracurricular activities are all tools, and we can and should put down a tool that isn't working anymore and pick up a new one. 

What is VITAL in this homeschooling-for-the-long-haul journey is our humble recognition that we constantly need to be in the presence of Jesus, asking daily for wisdom and grace to BE the moms He has called us to be as we teach our children to follow hard after Him. We need to be in the Word, soaking our minds in the truth of Who God is and who He created us to be. This leads to our last point.

If you know anything about the military lifestyle, you know it involves a level of discipline not typically seen in other circles! The homeschool mom knows that discipline is essential for her lifestyle as well. First and foremost, she must choose to discipline herself: daily Bible study and prayer should be a given. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who is constantly asking the Holy Spirit for patience and self-control as I interact with my children on an hourly basis. Disciplining my own tongue is much harder than getting up early to exercise and have my quiet time...and let me tell you, I am really not fond of rising before the sun is up! 

And as we continue to practice discipline in our own lives according to the Spirit's gentle leading, we then must teach and discipline our children as they grow physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Remember the word "disciple" as the heart of the concept of discipline, and you'll be able to better navigate those battles with the flesh (both yours and your children's!).

Are you a new homeschool mom or a veteran? Regardless of where you are on this journey, it's often helpful to talk things over with someone else in the trenches, someone who can help you see past the weeds or obstacles in your path. I'd love to help you find some clarity on your journey, whether you're dealing with toddlers interfering with school time or wondering how to handle difficulties with a teen. If you'd like a veteran mom to prayerfully meet you where you're at and lend a listening ear, I'd love to chat!

Sometimes homeschooling is amazing! 

Listening to a child finally reading out loud by herself; 

seeing your awkward teenage boy jump for joy after mastering an algebra lesson;

hearing exclamations of surprise during a science experiment; 

making memories during a family field trip;

hearing a chorus of "Just one more chapter!" and pretending reluctance as you happily comply.

And then, of course, we all experience the stressful, difficult days of homeschooling:

Struggles with math or reading. 

Tears and tantrums from toddlers (or teens...). 

Trying to power through when you're sick or in pain yourself. (Having thrown out my back earlier this week, this one is definitely true for me today.)

No one can find pencils or paper; everyone is complaining; the kitchen is a disaster; wet laundry is still in the washer from yesterday; and you have no idea what you're going to feed everyone for lunch OR dinner. (Is fasting an option?!)

Familiar?!

What keeps you going on those difficult days? What do you do when homeschooling is hard?

And...more than that...what keeps you going on REALLY difficult days? Not that the above scenarios aren't difficult, but I mean when homeschooling is HARD because you're dealing with heartache on top of the daily struggles.

The doctor confirms a terminal diagnosis.

Your husband is being let go from work.

A loved one has lost the battle with cancer.

You miscarried the baby you prayed for.

How do you keep going?

When homeschooling is hard, the only way forward is to remember your mission, your WHY for doing this in the first place. If you don't have a mission, if you haven't established the foundation for why you're home educating your children, it will be all too easy to find an alternative option. But if you're committed to homeschooling for the long haul, you'll remember that the daily activities, schedules, assignments--all of that is there as a TOOL for you to accomplish your mission.

Maybe school goes on hiatus while you regroup as a family. Maybe you shift into survival mode, doing the bare minimum to keep the kids occupied while you and your husband attend to the crisis at hand. 

There are ways to keep going when the going gets tough. But most important of all is keeping an eternal perspective, remembering that ultimately, we are homeschooling so we can teach and disciple our children, growing them into kingdom-minded followers of Jesus.

Is homeschooling hard for you these days? You don't have to do this alone. Hop on a free clarity call with me and let's get you past the difficulty. 

I had not heard much about home schooling during my own school years. My college roommate, though, was a homeschool graduate. She, like the few other homeschoolers I had met, seemed perfectly normal (!!), with above average intelligence and a well-rounded resume. So I never really understood the concern about the "stereotypical" homeschooled child.

During my student teaching semester, winter of 1997, I lived off campus with a homeschooling family. Even though I was gone during the hours Laurie, the mom, was actually doing school work with her children, I truly owe much of my foundational commitment to homeschooling to her and her family. Laurie was an example to me of what a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom might look like. I had never really put much thought into it previously, but at this point I was newly engaged, and thoughts of marriage and family occupied my mind as never before. 

So my time with Laurie and her family was probably the single most influential aspect in what I have come to view as my calling as a homeschool mother. Meanwhile, my husband Ted was attending Bible studies while at the Air Force Academy, being mentored by a captain who was a father of four children, all homeschooled. Our letters (yes, old-fashioned, handwritten letters!!!) discussed our ideas about homeschooling, so the idea was germinating.

Fast forward to early 2004. We began "homeschooling" Charis, our firstborn, when she was about 3 1/2. I thought I would try a pre-school workbook from Sam's Club, and as it turned out, she loved doing her pages and begged for them every day. We continued doing easy, fun workbooks and reading tons of books from the library. During this time we had a military move from Ohio to Maryland, and I planned to spend our one-year assignment there digging into this homeschool thing and learning all I could. I joined a Christian homeschool group and became friends with several ladies who graciously mentored me during that year, answering the bazillion questions I kept throwing at them.

Before we knew it another military move loomed, this time from Maryland to Nevada. By the time we got settled into our new home in August 2005, I knew what I'd be ordering from the Sonlight and Math-U-See catalogs. We joined a new homeschool support group, and before we knew it, were were officially a HOMESCHOOLING FAMILY! 

Are you a homeschooling mama? How and when did you begin this journey?

You're invited to a 3-day challenge! And it will be the easiest one you've ever accepted. 😁 This homeschool mom has been ready for summer since...well, maybe Groundhog's Day, lol! At the same time, I know it's important to be intentional about summer schedules and activities.

This 3-day challenge (which will run next week, June 7-9) will direct our thoughts to intentional REST as well as meaningful REFLECTION on the past school year. You don't have to do much to participate. But if you're not already in the Homeschooling for the Long Haul support group, where the action will take place, you'll need to join. You can do that here. 

If you want to be sure to intentionally connect, put it on your calendar and maybe invite a friend who needs encouragement and community in this Mom Journey! 

What does "rest & reflect" bring up for you today? 

 

Is there an area in which you are feeling "weary of doing good?" Over the years this verse has become my mothering and homeschooling mantra! Eugene Peterson writes about a long obedience in the same direction [affiliate link], and though I haven't read his book, that phrase has been floating around in my brain ever since I first heard it some years back. It perfectly describes many aspects of the Christian life, but I especially apply it to motherhood and homeschooling.

It's easy to become weary in doing good...for me as a homeschool mom, I get weary of training and correcting children, herding them in the right direction (physically and spiritually!), wondering if anything I am saying is even "sticking." But daily faithfulness (not perfection) adds up: we truly WILL reap a harvest. Now that I'm blessed to have roughly 2 decades of mothering and homeschooling under my belt, I'm delighted to report the harvest DOES COME! I love my teenagers and young adult children, and I love the sweet relationship I have with each of them individually. Reflecting on how far we've come, I am more patient for the next round of harvest, as I persevere in homeschooling our younger children.

How do you need encouragement to persevere today?

By the way...if you'd like to join some like-minded homeschooling mamas, hop into my new group where we're building a community of Christian moms committed to homeschooling their children for the long haul!

This support group is set up to help you...

✔️ avoid burnout

✔️ manage the overwhelm

✔️ sustain your homeschooling long-term

✔️ persevere in spiritually training your children

and...perhaps most important...

✔️ know and apply God’s truth in the daily activities of educating your children.